Definitions and key concepts
Polyamory refers to engaging in multiple consensual romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is a form of ethical non-monogamy grounded in transparency and responsibility. Configurations may include triads, quads, networks or solo poly (one person with several partners who are not interconnected). Open relationships typically allow partners to have sexual experiences outside their primary relationship without adding additional romantic partners.
Non-normative sexualities encompass orientations and practices outside mainstream monogamy—such as kink, BDSM, long-distance relationships, polyamory and asexuality. They share the same foundations as any healthy bond: consent and communication.
Polyamory vs open relationship
In an open relationship, primary partners permit sexual interactions outside the relationship but usually not additional romantic ties. Polyamory involves multiple loving relationships. Both are forms of ethical non-monogamy but meet different needs.
Possible configurations (triad, quad, solo poly)
Polyamorous structures can be interconnected or more networked, depending on the people involved and their preferences.
Pillars: consent, communication and trust
Polyamorous relationships demand emotional maturity and communication. Therapists at the Therapy Group DC explain that polyamory requires open dialogue and respect to handle complex emotions like joy, jealousy and insecurity. Trust is built by openly sharing needs and boundaries and honouring the agreements you make. If you need guidance, learn how to talk about boundaries and desires.
Rules and agreements to discuss
To navigate polyamorous or non-normative structures, you need clear agreements. Therapist Isaac Archuleta suggests discussing several topics, including how you define boundaries:
- How to talk about sexual encounters: Decide how much detail to share about outside partners.
- Off-limits people and situations: Some partners agree not to date friends, exes or co-workers.
- Co-creating the relational home: Agree that any change of plans should be discussed by everyone involved.
- Clarify roles and expectations: Decide if new relationships are purely sexual, emotional or both.
- Plan an exit route: Discuss how to end the open/poly arrangement if needed, ensuring all parties are respected.
- Honesty about insecurities: Encourage vulnerability so concerns can be addressed.
Establish clear agreements
Agreements are a starting point and can evolve over time as relationships grow.
Off-limits, roles, exits
Clarity around boundaries and expectations protects everyone involved.
Managing jealousy and emotions
Polyamory doesn’t eliminate jealousy. It requires people to acknowledge and work through it. The Therapy Group DC notes that self-work and attentive listening help turn jealousy into compersion—joy in your partner’s happiness. Practices like conscious sexuality can also support emotional regulation.
- Identify your emotions: Notice when jealousy or insecurity arises.
- Communicate with empathy: Share feelings without blaming, and listen to your partners’ perspectives.
- Remember love multiplies: Understand that new connections do not diminish existing ones.
- Seek external support: Therapists, support groups and understanding friends can help.
Compersion and jealousy management
Compersion can grow when people feel secure and supported.
Seeking support and debunking myths
Non-monogamous relationships face many myths. Some view polyamory as just a phase; in reality, it is a sustainable choice for many. Others think polyamorous people never feel jealousy; instead, they learn to manage it. Professional support can help couples navigate societal misconceptions, strengthen communication and find affirming communities.
Support from a therapist can help you navigate these dynamics, build communication skills and face external judgement. Online or local communities can also offer a sense of belonging.
Resources and support
Finding affirming spaces makes it easier to grow and feel understood.
Common myths vs reality
Debunking myths helps build healthier, more grounded relationships.
FAQ
Is polyamory for everyone?
No. It suits those who want multiple romantic relationships and are ready for transparent and ongoing communication.
What’s the difference between polyamory and an open relationship?
Open relationships allow sexual experiences outside the primary partnership, whereas polyamory involves multiple romantic relationships.
How do we handle jealousy?
By naming your feelings, discussing them empathetically and seeking support, jealousy can transform into compersion.
Next steps
Anchor your relationships in consent and open communication.